Triggers Happen

Last night when I got home from work, I was hungry. Today at work, there was fruit cake in the common area and it made me want some. Did you hear me!? Fruit cake. That is pathetic. I can honestly say that I have NEVER before wanted some fruit cake. Aren't there songs about how bad fruit cake is? That's obviously why someone brought it to the common area. You could put all your unwanted See's candies there that have bites out of them and they'd get eaten there.

That led me to ask myself WHY those things were triggers? Obviously, I am eating less and I haven't had processed sugar for 5 days. As for last night though, here are my thoughts: like a smoker who needs a cigarette after a meal or when they are drinking, I have always eaten when I got home from work. For whatever reason. But when I stopped to think about whether I was really hungry or just mentally hungry, I had to be honest - it was all in my head. So the trick here isn't not eating (because that would stop working after a few days), it is training myself to ask if I'm REALLY hungry instead of just eating because I got home from work. Getting home from work isn't a reason to eat. Hunger is. Physical hunger. Can I ask myself that question everytime I'm hungry? I honestly don't know. I haven't been able to for 32 years. But old habits die hard and I'm doing my best to kill them.

And for the fruit cake - don't judge. It WAS right before lunch, so that is what I'm thinking happened, but still. I'm ashamed. For some reason, I feel shame admitting that I wanted a piece of fruit cake. Like I might as well admit I wanted to dig in the trash can behind a Dunkin' Doughnuts or something. I might feel less shame with that! But I figured out that when I am REALLY hungry and it is time to feed my body, my will power is weaker than at other times. For me and what I am doing, that doesn't mean to snack on something else as that might trigger me in and of itself. I think all that means is that I have to focus, ask myself some questions and be HONEST in my answers to myself.

Brad says in his book (and Scott reminded me last night) that the human mind has the incredible ability to justify things. We know that we shouldn't eat 6 cookies at a sitting. But somehow, we are able to justify to ourselves that just this time isn't going to be a big deal. Or that we'll make sure and workout the next day. Yet all of those "justifications" have led me here. If not treated right, triggers lead to justifications which lead to weight gain.

They say, "s--- happens." True. But it's how you deal with it that defines you. So I say, "triggers happen." And it is whether I justify them or not that defines my waistline.