Just do it

The Just 10 lbs workbook asks the question: “Describe a situation where you faced an unexpected challenge and succeeded.” Thoughts started racing through my mind as I tried to think of a time I feel like I succeeded. Why is it human nature (or is it just MY nature) to think about myself negatively? If I was asked about times I failed, I could come up with a list a mile long – but for a list of my successes? That’s not so easy. I swear that this is why so many people take Prozac. :) We don’t feel good enough – we’re constantly trying to improve and never just accepting where we are and what we’ve done. And when I FORCE myself to think about the good, SHOCKINGLY, there IS good. I am good. I do succeed. I do well enough sometimes. We so easily see “good” in other people and have the hardest time seeing it in ourselves.

To date, the most unexpected challenge I have had is to be the mother of twins. TWINS. I always tell people who ask that twins are truly proof that God exists and that He has a sense of humor.

It is funny how twins are so fascinating to those who aren’t close to some in their own lives. I remember walking through Costco when the babies were maybe 4 months old. I am a working mom. Saturdays are the only day I have to get things done. And this lady stopped me to talk about how cute they were, how I got twins, what it was like, etc. For some reason, this is normal to us now. (We’ve even had strangers take pictures of them…) Walking with twins is like walking with mini-celebrities.

On this particular day, however, all I could think was, “Lady, of ALL the people in this store, I am the LAST one who has time to sit here and talk to you. Do you have ANY idea how much energy and time it takes to have twins!?” Of course, I didn’t say this. I smiled, and talked to her with my teeth grinding the whole time.

So twins were unexpected and challenging. Not sure that with only 16 months under my belt I could say I have succeeded. But, I can say that I didn’t die. And, believe me, there were times I thought I would. Or wished I could. :) Sleep deprivation makes you a tad nutso. The first month of their lives, Evan was gone 10 hours a day. I would just feed one, feed the other, pump, and then have 15 minutes to eat, nap, change diapers, clean, whatever before it all started again. All day – all night. I can’t say I loved every minute of it, but I loved every minute of THEM and they are the greatest joys of my life.

People ask me how I do it. I just do it. Any mother of multiples would tell you the same thing. Heck, any mother would tell you the same thing. You just do it because you have to and because there is something inside of you pushing you.

What does this have to do with weight loss? Well, I ask myself how I will do it. And this time, I will just do it. Because I have to. And the something pushing this time isn’t inside of me, but it is those two children that have caused me so many tears of joy and frustration. I want them to have a happy, healthy mom. I want them to learn how to deal with emotion and how to be healthy themselves. This journey I am on was not unexpected, but the way I got here certainly was a surprise.